


am i allowed to look at her like that?

by radialDespair



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Beaujester Week, Day 2 Prompt, F/F, THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED, and they were ROOMMATES
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 11:15:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19991251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radialDespair/pseuds/radialDespair
Summary: The Mighty Nein stay at an inn. Beau and Jester have a sleepover.





	am i allowed to look at her like that?

Beau let Jester head inside to get their room - there was always a rush at these little inns, trying for the best room, but she _desperately_ needed to get clean - it was a terribly hot day to have been walking alongside a cart, and she was coated in sweat and grime. There was a sluice out back, framed by a low wall, and she didn’t hesitate; the water would be cold, but that honestly sounded amazing to Beau.

She stripped out of her robes, and set the sluice going. She luxuriated under the water, massaging her tired muscles, running the water through her hair. 

The dirt and water ran down her legs, and she let her thoughts turn, as they almost always did, to Jester. It was becoming inconvenient, her feelings. She’d tried to pretend, for a time, that she didn’t see Jester that way, but it wasn’t any use - it had started early, and it had just been a silly crush, just the natural attraction towards a girl who was pretty and friendly. But as time went by, as Jester was so very… _Jester_ about things, so funny and sweet and kind, and Beau had fallen. Hard. Their conversation on the Mistake was probably when things cleared up. She loved her, and she felt it to her core.

She had no reason to believe Jester was interested, though. No reason to even believe she wasn’t straight, come to that. Jester seemed to have a crush on Fjord, and Beau had no reason to believe she didn’t - that didn’t mean that in her darkest, most shameful moments, she didn’t at least entertain the possibility, but what Beau thought when she was alone in her bed, listening to Jester’s soft breathing just across from her was between Beau and Ioun. 

Her rumination was disturbed by a strangled noise behind her. She turned around to see Jester had walked around to behind the inn, and was staring at the ground, face aflame. Beau dived behind the low wall that formed a vague ‘stall’ around the makeshift shower.

“I got us a room, Beau. I just- uhm. Came to, umm, tell you?”

“Oh! Great! Thanks, Jess! Great great great! Just give me, uhh, one minute?”

She took her time, drying herself slowly. Whatever would delay her inevitably going up to the room with Jester, where she would inevitably die of mortification. Eventually, though, it would be more embarrassing to delay any longer. 

Jester was sat in the middle of the bed, propped up on the pillows, sketching furiously, when Beau came in, and took in the room.

“I’ll, uhh, grab a bedroll, then?” Beau said - the room was lovely, but it was largely dominated by the queen-sized bed that Jester was currently sitting on.

Jester startled, slamming her sketchbook into her chest. “Oh! Beau! I thought we could, maybe, uhh, share the bed?”

“Share the bed?” Beau echoed dumbly.

“Like a sleepover, or something, maybe?” Jester said, setting her sketchbook down, “you know, doing normal sleepover things, staying up late, stuff like that”

“Oh, uhh, sure? If you’re okay with that?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“No reason! Just checking”

There was an amicable silence for a while after that, as Beau changed into her bedclothes, behind the screen set up in the corner of the room.

By the time she had finished, Jester was sketching again - her tongue stuck out a little in concentration.

“What’re you drawing, Jess?” Beau said, flopping heavily onto the bed next to Jester.

Jester let out a cry of surprise, and flung her sketchbook across the room.

“Wow, okay, sorry, I won’t pry” Beau said, a little hurt.

“Beau, no, sorry, it’s just… a little personal? Between me and the traveler, right? ” Jester looked suddenly stricken. “I’m not mad at you! You can look at my other sketches. Not this one though.”

“Well now I’m curious, but I’ll live, I guess.” Beau said, and they lapsed back into silence. Jester fetched her sketchbook back, but she’d moved to a fresh page, and was doodling at random - Caduceus making a funny face after Caleb told him something he didn’t understand, Nott sitting on the edge of the cart, staring into the middle distance, Yasha, asleep in the back, the light playing on her face.

“Beau?” Jester said quietly, some time later - it had grown dark as the torches died, and Beau could now barely see Jester, lying perhaps 6 inches away from her face. She’d put her sketchbook down.

“Yes, Jester?” Beau replied, equally quiet. There was an odd tenderness to this moment, speaking so very softly, so very close together, and Beau desperately didn’t want to break it.

“What do people usually do on a sleepover?” Jester asked “Because, technically, I’ve never had one before?”

“Well,” said Beau “I haven’t been to a sleepover since the monastery, but when I was there, usually people would play truth or dare, or play cards, or talk about their crush”

“That sounds like fun” Jester said, a little distantly “Which do you want to do first?”

Beau shifted so she was facing Jester directly. She could just about make out her features, through the dim moonlight, her eyes gleaming silver.

“Well, we can’t play cards, so I suppose we should play truth or dare?” Beau murmured. She couldn’t bear to consider talking about crushes with Jester. Pretending not to love her - that is, not to be *in* love with her, at any rate. Pretending her heart wasn’t being torn in two when Jester confirmed she had a crush on Fjord, painting a smile on and talking to her about it, offering what limited advice she had. She didn’t blame Jester, of course, but she certainly didn’t want to go through that unnecessarily.

Jester sighed in contentment. “Dares would mean getting out of bed though, Beau? And it’s so warm and nice and cosy in here with you” She said, and Beau silently sent a prayer of thanks to the Moonweaver, that the moonlight was too dim to show the blush she was certain was rushing to her face.

“Truth, then?” Beau said.

Jester hummed slightly. “Sounds like fun” 

“Okay. So, uhhh. Truth. What’s your favourite colour?” Beau asked. 

  
“Beau, you need to ask _difficult_ questions, otherwise it’s no fun. My favourite colour is blue, obviously.” Jester said, but she grinned - games of truth always start with little questions like this, to get everyone comfortable.

“Oh, like your hair?” Beau said, reaching up to touch it, but catching herself halfway. That would be weird, wouldn’t it?

“Sure, like my hair” Jester said softly.

They lay like that for a while, staring into each others’ eyes, Beau’s arm reaching halfway across the short distance between them.

“Hey, is it my turn?” Jester said eventually, her eyes bright with excitement - Beau recalled this was the very first time Jester had had a proper sleepover. “Do I get to ask you a question?”

“Oh, right. Sure.” Beau said, blinking a little. She had almost forgotten they were playing.

“If you could do one thing with no consequences, what would it be?” Jester said.

Beau paused. She knew the answer, but she certainly wasn’t going to tell _Jester_ that she would kiss her.

“I’d probably punch Nott. Just once.” She said.

“You could do that _now_ if you wanted, Beau.” Jester said.

“Oh, I mean, yeah, but there’s not many things I’d want to do that I couldn’t theoretically do, right?” Beau said. 

“Right. Just worry about how people would react. But I expect mostly, uhh, what you want to do isn’t entirely unwelcome.” Jester said.

“Are we still talking about me punching Nott in the face? Because I don’t think she’d like that.” 

“Probably she wouldn’t, no.”

This felt charged, to Beau. Not like the sleepovers she’d had in the dormitory at the monastery. She honestly wasn’t sure what was happening, not exactly.

“Is there anything _you_ want to do? Right now?” Beau said, so quietly she wasn’t even sure if Jester heard her. Wasn’t sure if she wanted Jester to have heard her.

Jester didn’t say anything. Beau was about to apologise, when the other girl moved. Jester shifted forwards, pressing into Beau, and kissed her. Beau’s hand moved behind Jester’s head unconsciously, their legs tangled together as they closed the remaining distance, and they were lost to the world.

When Beau woke up in the morning, halfblind from the light of the rising sun streaming through the window, she was momentarily lost, unsure whether it was a dream, until she noticed the warm weight against her side, the leg nestled between hers, the gentle breath against her neck, and the mass of blue hair that her face was all but buried in.

“Jess? Are you awake?” She whispered.

“Mhmm. Can we stay like this for a minute? I want to lie in my girlfriend’s arms for a little while longer. I’ve waited _months_ ,” 

Beau almost laughed with the joy that filled her chest at that.

“My girlfriend Jester” she murmured into Jester’s hair as Jester nuzzled further into her neck again.

It took them another hour to come down for breakfast.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, uhhh... I've not written any more than the two already done, and I've got exams to do, so the others won't be ready until I can start writing them a couple of weeks from now, which is a shame, because I really wanted to do every day.


End file.
